America Needs Me

OK-I’m up in the woods in Northern Michigan, attempting to enjoy a little get-away-from-it-all action when I go out to the deck to do some writing and my computer sniffs out a Wi-Fi network. I spent only a few seconds dealing with some minor chagrin at having my seclusion turn to illusion then I, as I am wont to do, began marveling at just how f-ing awesome this country is. I know we’re not the most wired country in the world but the Top Ten places are all the kinds of countries where you’d have to suffer through 127% taxation rates, snow up to your balls all year or both. So, we rock and I am the final word on that.

I will have to admit that sitting in the woods with my computer and unique psychological makeup puts me in a bit of a mood to write some sort of deranged manifesto but I’m not that far gone yet. Working on it though.

I may be connected up here but there’s a lot of parenting, fishing, swimming, family bonding and wine to be done so the posts will be brief. I might try to do one “If Kruiser fell down alone in the woods would anyone hear him do a podcast?” episode. Who knows?

I spent last weekend doing some shows in the Peoples Republic of Ann Arbor. My friends are always amazed that I like going there every year but, I have to admit, the crowds are pretty sharp even with all of their hammer and sickle-ness. I think they like me just because I’m a curiousity to them. Republicans are like mythical creatures from folk tales to the inhabitants of places like Ann Arbor and Berkeley.

Naturally, the place was full of glassy-eyed Obama worshippers. They’re all flush with victory because they think that Hillary Clinton has actually been vanquished. Those are the kinds of comfy bedtime thoughts you can have when your entire political philosophy can be summed up by “Gosh, he’s just so cool!” Those of us who have been following politics longer than half of a television season know that Obama shouldn’t be breathing easily just yet.

About Obama: many of us on the right are waiting for a concerted effort by the RNC and the McCain camp to point out just how wrong the Sainted One is for America on almost every issue. If the right tries to win this one by getting stuck on one or two cutesy marketing phrases to stick we may as well pack our bags for the move to the collective farms now.

When you look at what he stands for and how he purports to achieve his goals, it’s fairly simple to pick Obama apart. This story shows that Obama can be wrong even when he’s not there.

Obama’s wrongness is his gift to his opponents. Let’s hope they open it in time.

Here is a heartwarming little story of the sort you’ll never see in a futuristic Obamaworld: a douchebag criminal in Michigan tried to rob a bank with fake bomb when a law-abiding gun owner took him down.

Maybe we could convince liberals that owning a gun was a matter of a “right to privacy”…

Unable to grow a pair and endorse anyone when there was an actual race going on, Prince Albert the Bloated finally threw his considerable (literal and figurative) weight behind His Holiness the Obama last night.

Given the timing and the speaker, Gore’s endorsement offered all the excitement of, well, an Al Gore speech. Discussion abounded about Gore’s late nod and it’s almost non-effect. This was quite a contrast from 2004, when Gore endorsed Howard Dean with all the subtlety of Donald Trump performing a one-man show about P.T. Barnum. Gore’s early anointing was supposed to seal the deal for Dean until he decided to prove that Gore wasn’t the biggest babbling loon in the Democratic party.

Since then, Gore has become the Eco-Pimps’ rock star and realizes that image is everything. Backing a losing candidate for the second time in a row would undermine the notion that all on the left are hanging on his every word. After eight years of working with the Clintons, Gore knew better than to jump right in last week, lest The Madame pull a horror movie ending and pop back up out of the water after everyone was convinced she’d drowned. He dutifully waited until ALL of the dust had settled before having a crane lift him onto the bandwagon. Rumor has it that Gore left in a hurry so he could find somewhere to bet on the Giants to win the Super Bowl last February.

Despite all the talk about Gore saving the convention at the last minute my belief is that most real Democrats like him just where he is. It’s comforting to them if he is saving the planet and not destroying the party. Global Warming has become the attic for their crazy uncle. Now all they need to do is buy a deck of cards and send Screwy Cousin Howie up there to play some two-handed Hold-em so they can both be kept out of the way.

Still feeling like you’ve just gotten caught bending over to pick up the soap in a prison shower every time you fill up your gas tank? Still looking for someone to blame?

Allow me to present Al Gore. Rather, allow Weather Channel founder John Coleman to present Al Gore.

Coleman has been challenging Prince Albert the Bloated to a debate about Global Silliness Warming for sometime now. Curiously, not a word has been heard in response from the notoriously verbose former VP.

In his remarks to the San Diego Chamber of Commerce, Coleman explains the link between environmentalist ninny-ism and that lingering “prison bitch” feeling you get at the pump.

The never-shy Coleman then goes on to describe how plain ‘ol weather is being dressed up as the leftist charade known as global warming. He also goes off on the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel of Climate Charlatans (IPCC), so I’m a big fan.

Every John Coleman speech or interview is full of information about Gore’s nonsense that you won’t find the “Consensus!” whores in the MSM talking about. He’s as politically incorrect as Don Rickles monitoring an ethnic sensitivity support group. And he actually uses facts that hold up under scrutiny.

So, the next time you feel that pain at the pump, remember that the inconvenient truth is that it’s the people bitching about Big Oil, not Big Oil itself who are sticking it to you.

Awesome.

The EU showed up at Ireland’s doorstep, waving the Treaty of Lisbon, demanding that the Irish sheepishly hand over their sovereignty and…

got its ass kicked.

As an American of approximately one-half Irish descent I am taking this as a sign to begin drinking early today. I only regret that I missed this news before breakfast.

Gosh,  I wonder what it’s like to live in a country where the people aren’t willing to cede sovereignty just to please the “international community” and fancy themselves “progressive”.

Just this morning I was reading the chapter in St. Obama’s last book about the U.S. dealing with the “world beyond its borders”. I had to stop after he waxed sentimental about the “new world order” and the spirit of “international cooperation” (i.e. “joining the UN”) that came about after WWII and then credited that with winning the Cold War.

Therein lies the danger with the modern American liberal: they’re so willing to sell us out to the UN because they actually believe that it works.

Back to Ireland. It’s the only country that has let its people, not its legislators, vote on the referendum to ratify the treaty. I’d like to explain the import of this to American liberals but the “will of the people” is an alien concept to them (Superdelegates, anyone?).

A deeper examination of the misguided reaction to the vote and why Ireland has been successful where much of Europe hasn’t in recent years can be found at American Thinker.

Naturally, our commie rag of record, The New York Times, is perplexed by voters who-quelle suprise!-don’t want to be more like France.

Cheers to the Irish people. I hope this means Guinness is going on sale somewhere…

Pity the poor New York Times, carrying on the Cold War without its Soviet buddies around for a good collectivist commiseration. Still, the rag soldiers on, combating the evil American empire whenever and however it can. The Times, of course, is the embodiment of classic leftist American paradox: in order to be so vehemently anti-American on a daily basis and remain on American soil it needs the full protection of the U.S. Constitution.

Nutty little world, isn’t it?

Remaining true to its core lefty objectives, the newspaper’s writers always seem to express incredulity when they happen upon anything that works in this country. This is, after all, not France so how could anything possibly go well?

That mindset is what leads to stories like this in today’s Times:

Tax Checks Yield Surprising Growth in Retail Sales

Operating on the decidedly non-leftist assumption that the economy fares better when the government returns the money it extorted to its rightful owners, tax rebate checks were expedited to an American public longing to remember what their cash looked like. Predictably, they went out and spent some of that money, thereby calming some of Wall Street’s jitters for a bit.

If you are an American who believes in capitalism your response to this “news” would probably be a resounding “Duh!”

If, like the New York Times, you have set up your camping gear in Obamaland for the summer you’re “surprised” that good things could come out of American citizens getting some quality time with their own money.

Don’t worry, my little Daily Kosmorons, the article still has plenty of gloom and doom from “skeptical” economists and tales of high prices that are harbingers of the misery of which you dream.

I only hope that the election in November doesn’t end up killing all the surprise.

(This news actually came out a few days ago but I was pondering the link between “consensus crises” then and now…)

Long before Al Gore told us that polar bears were going to float through our deforested yards and dent our heinous SUVs, there was another global scare that got the media’s shorts all in a fever. Most young liberal voters don’t know anything about it because it started way back in the 1980’s, before a great many of them had benefited from a “yes” answer to their parents’ “pro-choice” dilemma.

Like global warming, this danger was going to kill us all unless we spent billions to fight and prevent it. How did we know the threat was serious? Because fine purveyors of information like Time, Newsweek and the UN told us it was, just like they do with global warming.

So…did everybody here make it through the Great Heterosexual Aids Pandemic all right? Just checking.

Let’s look at some of the MSM quotes during the hysteria (courtesy of fumento.com).

We’ll start with some gems from U.S. News and World Report in 1987:

“The disease of them is suddenly the disease of us. The slow death presumed just a few years ago to be confined to homosexuals, Haitians, and hemophiliacs is now a plague of the mainstream, finding fertile growth among heterosexuals.”

“Now, however, the disease is spreading so rapidly beyond homosexuals and drug abusers that the old rules no longer apply.”  

And finally:

“With an approximate seven-to-ten year latency period before the symptoms become evident, compelling evidence of a breakout of AIDS may come too late. That’s a ‘breakout’ into what the government calls ‘the general population.’ That’s you, Mr. President. That’s heterosexuals.”

From Time, also in 1987:

“The proportion of heterosexual cases . . . is increasing at a worrisome rate. . . . “

Finally, from the cover of Life magazine in 1985:

“Now No One Is Safe From AIDS.”  

Moving into the 1990’s, Dr. Bob Arnot reported on the CBS Evening News (15 years ago today) that, ”Heterosexual AIDS among Americans is growing faster than any other risk group, up thirty percent in 1992 alone…Heterosexual AIDS in America is exploding.”

Well, that all certainly sounds official and dangerous, doesn’t it? When you consider the fact that these stories all tended to be backed up by either the UN or the World Health Organization one can understand the need to spend billions to fight, fight, fight!

Seeing any parallels yet? Even you really drunk guys in back?

Thought so.

For the better part of two decades liberals, the UN and the MSM told us that heterosexual AIDS was, without a doubt, THE  THING THAT WAS GOING TO KILL US.

Last week the World Health Organization issued a statement that summed up its 25 year freak out. For those of you who don’t want to read all the boring details I’ll paraphrase:

“Oops, our bad.”

WHO head Kevin de Cock (his name, not his title) admitted that there isn’t going to be a problem after all and that the money probably could have been better spent.

That’s it. The biggest scare of the 80’s and 90’s is dismissed with a press release. A little, “Gosh, sorry guys…” and we’re all better.

There’s a lesson here to be learned about believing what the media and the UN proclaim as gospel but I’m too busy not caring about what Al Gore says to try and shove a generous helping of the obvious down the gullible throat of the American Left.

Meanwhile, there are actual terrorists who have committed actual murder and are still actually plotting to kill more people but, hey, it’s more fun to tell ghost stories about melting glaciers when you’re passing the bong around on a summer night.

Better go check under the bed for any imaginary lefty threats that might be lurking…

I know hope that it is virtually impossible for all of them to be stupid.

It is very difficult to examine the thought processes behind any legislation proposed by Senate Democrats because it all seems so devoid of, well, thought. Nowhere has this been more evident than in the their brain-dead solution to helping us regular folk who are feeling it at the gas pump these days.

The Short Bus Kids on Capitol Hill decided that the best way to get oil companies to charge less for a gallon of gas would be to impose new taxes on them. Brilliant. Because the first thing any corporation does when hit with a new financial burden is look for ways to pass that burden along to the consumer in the form of lower prices, right?

Yes, it is. If Tommy Chong is your economics professor.

Democrats don’t so much look for solutions to problems as seek crap that appears to be noble in a quick quote. They toss around ideas that have about as much substance as a Cheetos puff until Chuck Schumer wets his pants and screams “Chuck like! People like!” If Harry Reid responds with some incontinence of his own they call it legislation.

Now they’re all whining about the Republicans not letting them shove the Marxist Finger Of Fate up the asses of BIG OIL. You know, those evil pricks who provide a kazillion jobs and help keep things like medicine and food moving across the country.

Despite what their sainted presidential nominee might say from time to time, Democrats hate the free market. They vilify any individual or entity that does very well and makes money. That’s why we always hear them railing against “The Rich” or “BIG” This and “BIG” That. Huge profits are called “obscene”.

Here’s a great piece from Power Line explaining that the problem for the U.S isn’t that our oil companies are too big but too small. Why? Because Congress wants oil companies to do everything they can to be successful except drill for oil.

Oil companies can avoid the proposed tax on “unreasonable profits” (Hail, Comrade!) by investing in research for alternative energy sources. I’m going to clear my schedule until 2095 to allow ample time for one of the Democratic brain trust to explain just how that’s going to help gas prices in 2008. Sure, researching a scooter that runs on elderberries might get you a hand job over at the Sierra Club but it’s not going to fill your car up for less than the price of a John Edwards haircut.

This dog and pony show (Hey-ponies-there’s a more fuel efficient way to get around!) that the Short Bussers are putting on perfectly illustrates what Republicans need to seize upon and communicate to the American people if we don’t want to be in the minority until Chelsea Clinton’s second term as president and that is the fact that the Democrats don’t have any real answers.

What the modern Democratic party does constantly search for a new bogeyman to blame, tell the people they’re going to fight for them then pitch a fit for the cameras and hope that no one notices they haven’t actually said anything substantive.

It’s what we in the parenting game like to call a tantrum.

There’s an oft-alluded to rule in presidential races that says candidates should run to the extreme base of the party to get nominated then drift to the center once the nomination is secured.

Today, Barack Obama gave a speech about the economy and not much drift was apparent. One gets the idea that Barack Obama’s notion of where the “center” is might only be validated at a Daily Kos barbecue celebrating Fidel Castro’s birthday.

After reading Obama’s last book and poring over (OK, skimming until I thought my lunch would come up) his speeches the last several months I have come to realize that his real genius lies in subtly disarming opponents by paying lip service to what the other side believes before launching into a rather predictable lefty approach to the problem at hand.

His book is full of such one-two punches. He begins with a head fake toward some common ground then runs in the other direction while you’re taking a step to meet him in the center.

In today’s speech, Obama mixed up his formula just a little, saving the lip service until near the end. He blurted out something about “personal responsibility” and Americans knowing that “government can’t solve all their problems,” after spending most of the speech absolving those caught in the mortgage crisis of all responsibility and telling us how the government is going to solve our problems when he is elected president. (Obviously, the first thing one must do after registering as a Democrat is surrender all sense of irony.)

Team Obama will spend the next several months attempting to link John McCain to President Bush, particularly when it comes to the economy. The only way to do this is to ignore what is by far the largest difference between the two. The single biggest failing of the GOP during the Bush years is that it tried to turn tax dollars into votes and spent money like lottery-winning Democrats. John McCain is the anti-spend guy and no amount of make-believe by the Obama camp is going to change that.

Obama promised a more detailed economic policy speech to come next week and just gave us little peek at what he has in store and it’s hardly a bold new direction for Democrats. In fact, it is full of rather typical far left fare featuring a variety of bail-out promises as well as penalizing job providers and hoping to heck the long term consequences of that don’t show up until he doesn’t have to run for office again. There’s even something called a “Credit Card Bill of Rights” to give everyone a cute, meaningless phrase to wrap their heads around amidst all the boring economic talk.

I’d be perfectly happy if progressives would get back to supporting the original Bill of Rights, but that’s subject best explored in greater detail at a later time.

Obama’s economic vision to date has been full of promises and dubious methods of payment for such promises. He is somehow going to cut taxes to the middle class, fiscally hammer corporations but increase the number of jobs and spend money all over the place while decreasing spending. A man with that kind of magical talent shouldn’t be running for president, he should be headlining Vegas.

Further evidence that no drug testing whatsoever is done at the New York Times:

Campaign May Leave Blot on Clinton Legacy 

To their credit, Times writers do seem firmly focused on the goal of driving the paper into the void of irrelevance. This kind of reporting shows why it is most often preferable for them to simply make crap up, an area in which the Times is the undisputed industry leader. The writers over there don’t have much of a grip on reality so fiction is usually the safer route.

The poor American Left has been dealing with a months-long struggle that has them seeing the Clintons as they actually are for the very first time. It is both telling and disturbing to note that the only way the Democrats were able to finally remove their Clinton blinders was to replace them with Obama blinders. The enlightened progressives in America are never so happy as when they can only see what they want to see and not what actually is, hence the love affair with the Clintons and now Obama, not to mention the ongoing fascination with the NYT. It is a blissful little world when you see “youths” instead of “Islamic extremists” and “a great president” where a sexual predator in dire need of anger management stands.

It is the sad duty of the ever-fading Times to publicly document this painful awareness of the reality surrounding The Madame and The Zipper. Still, it’s difficult to admit ongoing errors in judgment. After almost two decades as the swooning mouthpiece bitch for the Clinton spin monster the paper is trying to let itself down gently. After all, sustaining an injury jumping off the Clinton bandwagon might hamper its leap onto Obama’s. Writers there will examine this a little more. One of them will surely toss off a quick book about the campaign that will shamelessly be plugged as noteworthy in the “Books” section.

And none of them will ever get to the truth.

The Clinton legacy was stained long ago because, like a two year-old dressed all in white while eating spaghetti, it is impossible for these people to not leave a mess. They are at this point because some Democrats out there finally began to see Bill and Hillary for what they are.

That’s a description best left for Friday the 13th.